How many times do you keep hearing that it is impossible to graduate from the school of marriage? You keep learning new things in marriage. The way the marriage life works can be very surprising. Sometimes, the spouse you see as your best friend becomes your worst enemy without notice. Perhaps, there is a role of courtship in all of these situations. After all, if the foundation is not right, what can the righteous do? So, if the courtship season is faulty, what can we correct in marriage? I know you will see reasons why it is first necessary to address the courtship season. For discussion sake, it is very important we discuss these three foundations in courtship:

  • Understanding courtship
  • Knowing what to do in courtship
  • Getting set for marriage and the future


Understanding the nature of courtship requires deliberate effort that forms the foundation for a good marriage. Understanding courtship helps you to comprehend interesting issues like the difference between dating, courtship and engagement. The distinction between suitability and compatibility, age to start courtship, friendship to courtship and the question of what age to start courtship. Courtship in itself happens when a matured single man, having a clear conviction from God that a single lady is meant to be his wife, then, he proposes his intention of marriage to the lady and the matured single lady also decides to accept his proposal after a clear conviction from God that the man is meant to be her husband. Yes, that is what makes the difference between courtship and dating. The strong conviction from God and the intention of marriage. Then, engagement means you agree to marry someone. If you are getting this whole point, this means that once you start courtship with someone, you are engaged to that person. So, how does suitability and compatibility come in? Don’t divide your attention here. Listen. Compatibility is your ability to live or exist with another person without problem, but, suitability is the sense of appropriateness someone has for a particular purpose or occasion. I know that may be a lot to take in, but, stick with me for a moment. You can be compatible with somebody and not be suitable or right for that person. Just put it this way, suitability comes before compatibility and you can work hard to bring in compatibility, but, you can do nothing about suitability. This is where purpose comes into play. It’s your purpose that determines how suitable a person can be for you in marriage. Let us not dwell too much on this, don’t forget that friendship precedes relationship and courtship’s foundation should be on divine leading, the readiness for marriage and maturity (physical, financial, emotional, moral and intellectual).
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The pure truth is that if you don’t know the purpose of courtship, you will abuse it. Knowing what to do in courtship is important to the success of such relationship. Let us examine it this way. How do you know what to do in courtship? The right seeds to sow in courtship? The best way to maintain a pure and spirit kind of courtship, working out friendship and appraising your courtship? The first major reason for faulty marriages is that intending couples do not discuss the appropriate things during courtship. In courtship, one of the major things to discuss with the other party is yourself. Yes. Talk about yourselves. Don’t assume the other person should know you. Tell him or her about you and ensure you keep to heart those things you are learning about each other. Discuss your family too, your vision for life, your purpose. Talk about when you intend to marry each other, where you want to live and raise your family, the church you will be attending, how you plan to manage your finance, discuss sex too, and communicate when you want to start having children and the number of children. Talk about everything, including your expectations. When courting, remember to sow the seeds of prayer, word of God, acceptance, trust and openness, faithfulness, forgiveness and self-control, love and submission and commitment during your courtship. You will reap it in marriage. In courtship, it doesn’t have to be “Mr. Biggs” all through. You can attend seminars and conferences together, you can attend social functions like wedding ceremonies, dinner parties together and you can read and discuss quality books together. The way you design your courtship is the way you experience your marriage. In courtship, it is necessary you do an “appraisal”. Sit down and discuss issues, expectations and how your intending spouse can improve in the relationship.
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The ending of courtship is marriage. Courtship is just a form of preparation and preparation precedes manifestation. A great marriage will not just happen, it is the equal effort of a man and a woman that prepares themselves for the marriage. The question you need to ask yourself is if you are preparing for marriage. As a man, learn how to be a good husband and father, learn how to be a good leader, learn how to make a woman happy, it is never too late. Start now. As a lady, start to develop your daily prayer life, cultivate the character of a virtuous woman, start learning how to be submissive. Be submissive to your dad and the authorities God places over you. The most important part is to allow God to prepare you. Even with that, it is necessary you count the cost of marriage to you. Marriage is no child’s play and the success of your marriage has a lot to do with what you do during courtship and how you handle the season of your courtship. Just before you walk down the aisle, during courtship, make sure you have a full understanding of what marriage is, the purpose of singleness, understand yourself, understand the male and female gender and have a divine conviction. As part of your preparation, there are some major warning signals to watch out for in courtship. Be careful if your intending spouse is abusive, either in a physical, emotional or financial way. Watch out for traces of infidelity, selfishness, stinginess, distrust and lack of fear of the Lord. The best courtship foundation is that of purity. Save your marriage of chaos, embrace purity, reinforce your spiritual life and submit to the authorities God places over you.
Yes it’s a long read, but thank you for staying through to learn the truth. We may not be able to exhaust all on courtship as the foundation of a good marriage. The fact you will agree with is that this blog post has done justice to me major aspects you need to know about courtship. I can see you nodding your head, because you know some of your boring questions now have answers.

So, what more, do you want us to discuss about this topic?

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