Do you ever wish that God will come down and just tell you who to marry?
Let me guess.
The many marriages around you make you wonder if God still speaks to people concerning marriage. Even the most romantic couple you know can leave you in the valley of confusion. It all looks like God does not talk to his children about who to marry.
It all boils down to this.
God still cares about our love life and we only need to pay attention to his instructions.
Stick with me because here’s the big secret. There are five ways to know if God is saying he’s the right man.
- Keep Prophecy In Perspective
- Define The Relationship
- Let God Sort The Laundry
- Kick The Best Friend Habit
- Use The Sky Color Challenge
KEEP PROPHECY IN PERSPECTIVE
How many times do you hear of situations where someone claims the “God says” phenomenon? I can almost hear you thinking more than once. This does not contradict the truth that God can speak to you through the word of prophecy. However, it emphasizes the need to put prophecy in the right perspective. Prophecy is not a bad way to follow God’s instructions about marriage. But, you need to follow the principles of prophecy. That is, subject all prophecy to the discerning ear of other witnesses. Although, in some cases, the idea of subjection can embarrass you, in most cases, the idea scares you. You may be fearful of what others will think of you if you are wrong or probably you are not willing to accept the possibility that you may be wrong. Irrespective of what you think, don’t forget what your daddy says in his letter to you. “Where there is no guidance, the people fall, but in abundance of counsellors there is great victory.” Proverbs 11:14.
DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP
Do you hear of the one person relationship syndrome? I know you will agree with me when I say as a lady, you can date a guy that is not dating you. You throw all the ladies’ hints at him, but he doesn’t get the gist. So, what do you do? You define the relationship. Like Ruth in the Bible, bathe yourself, choose your moment well and find a good spot to talk with him. The conversation may be as concise as this:
“I want to hint you on something that I have been praying about. So far, we have been good friends, but I wonder whether you and I can get into intentional dating relationship. I know that’s something I will like to explore with you. You don’t need to answer now. I am willing to give you some time to ponder it too. Will you pray about this and let me know?.” This type of conversation contains all the necessary information you need to pass your message. You don’t need to dread this kind of conversation. Instead see it as an alignment to God’s counsel. “Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed.” Proverbs 27:5.
LET GOD SORT THE LAUNDRY
Do you know that certain clothes make up certain men? Psalm 73:6 calls pride “a chain about the neck” of wicked men. It says that they cover themselves with violence “as a garment.” The opposite side of this is to be with someone that puts on God’s kind of garment. As it is, it is necessary you find a guy who is ready to put on the full armour of God as a garment. Although, you may make your list of what you want in a guy, be sure to put every of your desires in the right column. You may have the physical, practical and the spiritual column. Write every biological attributes such as charming eyes under physical. Jot down traits like financial stability, emotional strength under practical. Then, under the spiritual column, go beyond the general. Apart from the truth that he should be a believer, be sure to pin those aspects that define how his spiritual commitment manifests in his day-to-day life. God has a genuine concern about you and you can have the assurance that he won’t leave you to sort the garments alone. Remember to “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee”. Hebrews 13:5
KICK THE BEST FRIEND HABIT
Do you hear of the best friend syndrome? “we are just best friends, nothing more,” “he’s just a school brother, that’s all.” Let me break this down for you. You will agree with me that once an eligible man starts having a one-on-one interaction with a single lady, whether or not he intends is, he is knocking on the door of her heart. It is not a bad idea to have a male best friend. However, it is emotional thievery when a male best friend gets all the admirations, companionship and emotional support without you consenting to it. Here’s the interesting part, when you don’t have a man’s heart, having him is mere fantasy. Irrespective of his frequent calls, texts and attention you enjoy from him, you will keep hurting yourself if you want a romantic relationship and he does not. I can almost here you thinking, so what’s the solution? Declare a lengthy fast from any form of close interaction with him. This may hurt, but give yourself time to adjust to life without him. This doesn’t mean you don’t give an inch of care about him, but keep it at arm’s length – not as a hopeful girlfriend. “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, And he shall direct thy paths”. Proverbs 3:5-6
USE THE SKY COLOR CHALLENGE
Do you know that no mater how many heart heartbreaks you experience, your heart will still long to search for a true love? If you are of a marriageable age, every preferable man that comes around you becomes a potential suitor. You begin to ask your father in heaven, if he’s the one. Just like when you have the choice of buying a house, there are many choices to choose from, but the house you pick from becomes THE house. Of course, marriage can be much tougher than this. But, you can subject your feelings to the blue-sky/grey-sky challenge. Although the blue sky can inspire you to look at the positive aspect of life, the grey sky reminds you of the evil days which are inevitable. Now, this is the trick, take a sincere look at the man you are considering. Are you ready to be with him every time? Even if the sky is blue or grey? For better for worse? For richer, for poorer? In health and sickness? In most cases, the blue sky overshadows the realities of the grey sky. But, you must look beyond what you can see and see beyond the sweet part of marriage. You can have this God’s promise that “When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee”. Isaiah 43:2
Don’t stop reading now.
The choice of who to marry is one of the biggest decision you will make in your lifetime. While God does give you the privilege to marry in the household of faith, he gives you the free will to choose. However, there is a low chance that you will miss God’s will if you follow these guidelines. Our God still cares about you and about your love life. If you allow him, he will guide your steps through it all. Shalom!